Theories about the Gun Buried in a Shoebox at the Back of Your Son’s Closet

by Beth Sherman

1. It was given to him by your ex-husband because he’s a kid who’s lost interest in video games, school, sports, and anything that does not involve sitting in his room alone for hours at a time.
2. It’s been passed down from your father-in-law, who served in the Vietnam War and once drove to your house with a deer tied to the roof of his pickup truck. 
3. It was purchased at Guns N’ Roses, that shop in the strip mall off I-75, which, unlike Walmart, doesn’t do background checks. 
4. It was purchased on Amazon, with a stolen credit card. 
5. It was purchased to help commit a series of recent neighborhood burglaries where electronics were stolen from the homes of people on vacation.
6. It actually belongs to his former best friend, Tyler Hicks, who once drank three cases of beer and had to have his stomach pumped. 
7. It’s a prop for the spring High School production of Chicago, starring Tyler Hicks as shady lawyer Billy Flynn.
8. It’s made out of realistic-looking brown play dough.
9. It’s the revenge weapon of choice for a kid who’s been bullied since kindergarten for never fitting in. 
10. The fact that it’s a pistol and not an AK-47 means he’s not going to drive to school, walk down the hallway to his Algebra class and start shooting indiscriminately. 
11. It’s part of a history project involving research on serial killers from the 1980s. 
12. It was buried in the backyard and belonged to the low life previous owners, who were evicted for not paying rent and despised for leaving junker cars on the lawn.  
13. He found it in the woods behind your house – a dumping ground for condom wrappers, half empty energy drinks, and detritus that doesn’t have a name. 
14. It’s made out of chocolate, like an Easter Bunny.
15. It’s a toy that looks real. 
16. Since there aren’t any bullets in the chamber, it’s not as big a deal as you think.
17. He meant for you to find it, so you could force him back into therapy, into the caring, hopeful boy you once knew. 
18. He meant for you to find it so you can finally have a conversation about how unhappy and lost he seems.
19. He intends to throw it into Lake Kissimmee in a secret nighttime ceremony designed to rid himself of unwanted voices. 
20. He uses it to help fall asleep at night, like the baby blanket he once clutched to his cheek or the stars he once counted on his bedroom ceiling, painted glow-in-the-dark silver.  
21. It was purchased to kill you in your sleep, one clean shot to the temple.
22. It’s your birthday present and one day soon, he’ll wrap it in newspaper and as you’re eating your Special K with blueberries, right before the school bus comes, he’ll shyly hand it over, eyes fixed on the linoleum floor, never admitting how much he loves you. 

Beth Sherman has an MFA in creative writing from Queens College, where she teaches in the English department. Her writing has been published in more than 100 literary magazines, including Portland Review, Tiny Molecules, 100 Word Story, Fictive Dream, and Bending Genres. Her work is featured in Best Microfiction 2024. She’s also a Pushcart, Best Small Fictions, and multiple Best of the Net nominee. She can be reached at @bsherm36 or https://www.bethsherman.site/