Miranda Cosgrove (and Carly Shay)
Selected by L.M. Cole
I.
Megan is your favorite character on Drake & Josh, but you think it’s just because you’re the same age. She’s clever, entertaining, easily the best part of every episode. You look forward to her antics, knowing damn well she’s going to be up to something, anything. And when you find out Miranda Cosgrove is getting her very own show? You can’t wait to tune in.
II.
You’re a little more into iCarly than your peers, for a lot longer than them, too. You find yourself in the iCarly fandom, reblogging posts at a rate that loses you followers. You wear iCarly earrings and Silly Bandz. Your walls are covered in iCarly posters from children’s magazines. You buy an iCarly cup from the thrift store for $1.
III.
You start off writing Seddie fanfiction, which slowly turns into Cam fanfiction, but that doesn’t feel quite right, and then you realize, oh, maybe you do ship Seddie, and the interest in Carly is more of a you thing. You share photos of Miranda Cosgrove on Facebook calling her beautiful and saying she’s your wife. You joke that the two of you are soulmates because you both like cupcakes and sushi.
Everyone likes cupcakes and sushi.
IV.
You know every song on Miranda’s album, Sparks Fly, but the DJ at your Sweet 16 fails to play any of them. But it’s okay because you get an iCarly bedroom set for your 16th birthday. It includes a comforter and a pillowcase with Miranda Cosgrove’s face on it. You jokingly kiss your pillow while on video call with your ex. He calls you weird. That’s not why he’s your ex, but it’s not not why he’s your ex, either.
V.
Each Despicable Me film provides you with crumbs, and as an added bonus, you’re introduced to the minions - and no one seems to love the minions as much as you and Miranda do. Later, You make your partner a playlist for his birthday that includes “Kissin U.” You’re both nearly 30 now. iCarly is revived on Paramount+ and you binge watch it because it’s everything you’ve ever
Melissa Martini (she/her) is the Founder & EIC of Moss Puppy Magazine. A Capricorn from New Jersey, Melissa received her Master’s in English with a focus in Creative Writing from Seton Hall University. Her debut chapbook, Faded Fur & Stripped Skin, was published by Bottlecap Press.