Dreamhouse
As her therapist constantly reminds her, Barbie Rewind™ 80s Edition Career Girl is changing up, and Signature Ken™ is changing down, and What’re you going to do about it? Right now, scream behind her executive office door. Maybe later, cry over a nice Chardonnay. Barbie Rewind™ 80s Edition Career Girl works seventy, eighty, hours a week. Hell, it was her idea to bring Signature Ken™ to life in the first place. She wanted a partner. Someone who was as driven as she was, when she realized the market was there for the taking, all these girls with dreams and aspirations, with mothers cheerleading Hell yeah! The world’s your oyster, you go, girl! in the toy aisles. Signature Ken™ used to sit next to her at board meetings. He was better at PowerPoint®, she was better at presenting. They made a great team. Barbie® Off-Road Vehicle, Barbie® Beach Cruiser™, and Barbie® Airplane Adventures™ became realities. They franchised the Ken™ Dog Trainer Playset, twenty-seven cities, with eight more slated for Q4. Together, they grew the company 1,362% in one year alone. Heady days. Unstoppable days. Then, Signature Ken™ grabbed her hand in the California King Barbie® Sweetdreams™ bed one night while they watched Jimmy Kimmel Live. He said he was tired of the rat race, said maybe he wanted to become a chicken farmer. She stared at him for the longest time. Said let’s sleep on it. The next day, she did what she did best. She pivoted. She strode into R&D and told the team they would create an agrarian line to capitalize on the growing homesteading trend. First up, the Barbie® Hatch & Gather Egg Farm. She told Signature Ken™ about it over duck confit and bitter leaf salad that night. Why you? Why me what? Why’s it under your name? Are we really going there again? Signature Ken™ doubled down and pouted the rest of the night. Then, the next thing she knew, Signature Ken™’s on her TV screen, dancing to Backstreet Boys and Little Richard songs on season 14 of DWTS, and Kevin Federline’s calling him up, all Yo yo yo, let’s get our dawg on, and suddenly Signature Ken™’s flying off to Vegas almost every weekend in the Barbie® Estate Dreamplane with Kevin and Ken® Fashionistas™ #123 and #184. Now, he gets home on Mondays after seventy-two hours of What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas™, and he passes out until Wednesdays. She tells her therapist it feels like she has a narcoleptic teenager in the house. And she can’t even deal when he rolls on top of her, pushing that bump between her legs, singing I want it that way in her ear. Her therapist sagely nods over Zoom, tells her Great session today, you’re starting to break through before disconnecting the call. Barbie® makes some chamomile tea and curls up in bed. The Barbie® Fashionistas® Ultimate Closet™ doors are flung wide open, jewelry and sequined ballgowns sparkling in the moonlight. Barbie®’s built it all from the ground up. She’s sacrificed. She’s agonized over business risks taken and not taken. Now, Signature Ken™. Her ride or die. Her other half. Her ‘til death do us part. She fantasizes about dumping all his shit out on the lawn, changing the locks. Sure, there will probably be some pouting. Some shouting. Maybe throwing a rock or two through the windows she’ll tell her lawyer about so the replacement costs can be deducted from his alimony. But it’ll be worth it. A necessary expenditure. She drifts off, the empty tea cup falling to the floor, and dreams about hitting reset. A single working gal. Nothing more than a sketch on a drawing pad. Her paper fingers strike a match. Burn the shit™ down.
L Mari Harris’s stories have been chosen for the Wigleaf Top 50 and Best Microfiction. She lives in the Ozarks. Follow her @LMariHarris and read more of her work at lmariharris.wordpress.com.