when i think of jason bourne i think of christmas

by Katherine Schmidt

After Elizabeth J. Wenger’s “when i think of quentin tarantino i think of revenge”

at home in violent fantasy. blood seeping from bullet holes as dramatic orchestral music starts playing. hitmen chase jason bourne onto the subway & he steals a map from a newsstand because he’s going to remove bullets while on the run even though he’s in pain // pain is character growth when inside a movie // when i think of the subway i think of jason bourne lost in amnesia afraid of who he is as he chokes a man to death with blinds. stabs a man in the finger with a pen. bludgeons a man in the face with rolled newspaper. the hitmen run onto the subway but jason bourne jumps over a bridge and now he’s on top of a bus, far away // violence is christmas at home in a movie // when i think of shaky camera work & long fight scenes with slapstick sound effects i think of close-ups of jason bourne’s face as he breaks into an apartment in moscow to confront the daughter of a man he murdered because he’s lost in amnesia and feels sad // sadness at christmas is violence at home // when i think of apologies that don’t matter i think of christmas the color of blood seeping into the mediterranean where jason bourne drowns, shot. the hitmen hijack a police car but jason bourne is now in a moped racing up stairs near a beach in goa while his girlfriend is in a bikini, then dead // i decide i would rather be jason bourne // when i remember the girlfriend is dead i decide i would rather be jason bourne blood seeping from bullet holes singing god rest ye merry gentlemen & joy to the world. at home in violent fantasy.

Katherine Schmidt’s work is published in JAKE, Icebreakers, Roi Fainéant Press, Anti-Heroin Chic, and elsewhere. She is a co-founder of Spark to Flame Journal. 
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