The Cult-Classic Flick Based on the Best-Selling Unauthorized Biography of You—
...farther than slow dancing is from a heaved hand grenade...
by Matt Zambito
—could easily be a wee closer
to the unified theory of your reality
than the novelization of the same twice
genre-transformed film. Instead,
this cinema stays farther from the truth
than an HR rep is from method-acting
humane or resourceful or representative,
farther than slow dancing is from
a heaved hand grenade, further than
a Yugo is from a yuzu is from a you.
*
—seems surely a vehicle invented
to hasten making unknown thespians
into worldwide household names.
You’re sure of it. Hell, you “are” it, after
all, since this silver-screen adaptation
captures the facts of your funnel cake-
focused fornication fantasies you preferred
kept private, isolated as if the directional
meanings hidden in a honeybee’s
boogie and bumble and buzz.
*
—got dubbed Chickens Crossing
Rubicons by its producers, eschewing
the book publisher’s title: You Won’t
Regret and Other Rental Cars
Abandoned Outside Omaha. The movie
proves, as much as any “proof” proves,
star talent radiates from your heart’s
beating heartland, then sets, choreographed,
along your horizon’s ken, glowing
just zen enough to ride off into.
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Matt Zambito is the author of The Fantastic Congress of Oddities, and two chapbooks, Guy Talk and Checks & Balances. New poems appear in Freshwater Literary Journal, Braided Way, and Pioneertown. Originally from Niagara Falls, he now writes from Wilson, New York, where he lives with his rescue dog, Sadie.
