Signs From Above
BE SMART
DRIVE SLOW
REAR-ENDING IS
STILL
ILLEGAL
IN THIS STATE
ARE YOU DRIVING A
HUMMER,
OR ARE YOU JUST
HAPPY TO SEE ME?
DRIVE STONED
GET T-BONED
(THE MUNCH /
CRUNCHIES)
DRIVE DRUNK
END UP IN MY TRUNK
DRIVE HIGH
IT’S THE ONLY WAY
TO FLY
(TO HEAVEN [DIE])
ONLY DRINK
IF YOU CAN
PASS A BLOWJOB
(BREATHALYZER)
CLICK-IT OR
FLICK-IT
(MY MIDDLE FINGER)
BEEP IF YOU
WANT ME TO
SWEAR AT YOU
HONK IF YOU
HAVE EXCESS GAS
IN YOUR YOUR TANK
ORANGE
(CONSTRUCTION)
IS THE NEW BLACK
(DESTRUCTION)
THE NEXT REST AREA
IS IN YOUR
WATER BOTTLE
IF YOUR CAR
DIES ON THE BRIDGE
I’M GOING TO
JUMP
CONGESTION AHEAD
I RECOMMEND
SUDAFED
WATCH YOUR SPEED
(DON’T DO METH)
YOU SHOULD BE
THE ONLY TRASH
EXITING YOUR CAR
SMOKE A BOWL
HIT A POTHOLE
ARE YOU SLACKING?
DON'T MAKE ME
GET THE BELT
EXPECT SNOW
ICE
AND EVERYTHING
NICE
YOU’RE NOT SUPERMAN
AND YOUR BACK SEAT
ISN’T A PHONE BOOTH
/ CHANGING ROOM
GET THE BOOSTER
OR I’LL COCCKCROW A
ROOSTER
BE SAFE
DRIVE SMART
ROLL THE WINDOWS
DOWN AFTER YOU FART
REST IN PEACE
NOT IN THE STREETS
ROAD WORK AHEAD
PREPARE TO BE
PISSED (NO PORTA
POTTY ON SITE)
GO LEFT
YOU’RE NEVER RIGHT
Charles J. March III is a food porn addict from the South Side of the Windy City. His work has been upchucked (or soon will be) by Taco Bell Quarterly, Shot Glass Journal, Nauseated Drive, talking about strawberries all of the time, Eskimo Pie, Gutslut Press, etc. Less can be found at LinkedIn & SoundCloud.