Prayer for Transgender Summers
Oh Lord, July days are just like February now, / And the despair is endless -
Summer comes for us all
Like a great gasp
And I am declared missing, reeling, swimming
In the heat and violence each day brings.
Oh Lord, July days are just like February now,
And the despair is endless -
Just with more shining skin.
Not all of us get to survive to the fall,
And I feel the heaviest weight on my shoulders.
Lord, I will forever mark this year
As the one I learned to wear a binder,
My chest flattening into nothing
Like a magician disappearing
Another false self.
I was so happy, I couldn’t stop flashing you all,
Grinning splitting crowing “dude, look at this!”
Like an overripe peach still hanging onto the branch.
God, please don’t let me fall
When I hit the ground,
Let me keep going in July’s torrid heat.
I love my body most
When it’s changing.
I’m stumbling, but I can see.
Gabrielle Martin (they/them) is a poet living and working in Philly. Originally from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, much of their formative years were spent shucking corn. Their debut chapbook, Gritty City, is now available from Moonstone Press. Find them on Twitter @crabbygabie.
