ode to messy emotions

i love feelings. my partner and i started a fight

with, at the crux, my endless joke

about nearing a quarter-century old. what can i say,

we love a problematic age gap!

we love a dramatic fight

and pouting for days only for it to end

all of a sudden with him fussing over me bc i’m sick!

yes, we love to be sick for the attention!

what’s the point of denying it?

if i weren’t already so sick and so scared

i might really have munchausen.

while we’re admitting our problematic truths

and tendencies, i must admit, i googled

“what is the disease where you like medical attention”

because i couldn’t remember it on my own.

i love a good mess. big wreck. every counter becomes clutter-heaven.

every time i clean the mess comes back

as soon as i go to sleep.

i’m not saying there are elves that make a mess of my apartment

but i’m not not saying that, you know?

just kidding, i’m not saying that. the mess is all mine!

i revel in it! i hate it but i don’t do anything about it! so it goes!

what was i talking about? oh, feelings. love them!

can’t get enough of them! when i was sixteen they gave me a feelings chart

and i was like bet, i’ll cycle through them all nonstop for the rest of my

life. i’m coming out

as a bpd queen. this is my coming out poem! emotional regulation

was something i had to be taught, after i was taught to name emotions,

lessons i often forget. i’m coming out as a bimbo! i’m coming out as a messy

bitch!

i’m coming out as the biggest feeling you could possibly have

followed by the immediate collapse into itself! it’s called dissociation babes!

if you say disassociation i won’t tell you you’re wrong but

i will judge you, my own therapist included!

my toxic trait is that i’m happiest when i’m a hater.

there’s a reason this poem started with a fight, i think it’s fun!

i’m coming out as a toxic king! this has been

my coming out poem, hope you enjoyed the show.