little victories
I lie to my boss about where I go after work.
I wear my wireless earbuds and leather boots on the subway. I look
good enough, but I lie to my boss about where I go after work. Not
home, not to an unspecified doctor’s appointment—how vague!— but
to a building on 58th to get my brain magnetized
in hopes that it’ll cure my depression. Will it? I tell myself it will.
I tell myself to be patient, it’s only been one week of magnets
stimulating my prefrontal cortex with electrical pulses. I can
expect a change after three weeks, the psychiatrist says. But
depression is about celebrating the little victories, so I take myself
on a date to the two-story Taco Bell on Lex after my first week of
treatment is done. It’s not yet noon. There is still time today to
live más and wear my wireless earbuds and leather boots on the
subway and look good enough.
Erica Leslie Weidner is based, in New York City, and based in New York City. Her work has appeared most recently in Unlikely Stories, Scrawl Place, and fifth wheel press. She is the founder and editor-in-chief of underscore_magazine. When she's not writing, she's studying for her master's degree in library science.
