leftover pickle brine

by Ronald Zack

gherkin juice 
from fermented dwarf cukes 
marinated in probiotic 
preservatives, unrefrigerated 
after opening, 
salted, 
vinegared, 
and variegated 
vegetable meat- 

so versatile a 
fluid, use it
for wrinkle remover
bicycle chain lubricant,
slimy sensual sexual
surfactant, 
fertilizing the garden,  
enhancing the bathwater, 
flavoring the stew, and
removing residue
from pipes and shoes. 

it is excellent for
cleaning the toothbrush, 
washing the windows, 
scrubbing the grout; 
it disappears
the yellow ring around 
the collar and the 
toilet bowl halo.

what else does it do?
the lime green elixir
cures the cough, calms the 
itch, settles the stomach 
and eradicates foot fungus
when carefully massaged 
between the toes. It will 
increase muscle 
mass, burn belly fat,
improve focus, and
sharpen the 
intellect.

make the brine shine 
and bloom into a bracing 
pickletini, 
a classic pickleback chaser, 
a delicious product of
workin’ the gherkin, 
primin’ the pickle, 
curin’ the crunch.  

what a shame – 

you poured it 

              down
                            the
       drain.

Ronald Zack is an attorney currently in Tucson, Arizona.  He was raised in Detroit, formally educated in Michigan, California, and Arizona, and is currently working on an MFA in Creative Writing at Mississippi University for Woman.