The Anti-Literary Magazine

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JAKE

19 Ways of Crossing the Street After the Old Guy In the Sedan Jerks to a Last-Minute Stop in the Vons Parking Lot Crosswalk and Motions for You to Pick Up the Pace, Can’t You See He Didn’t Want to Stop For You in the First Place, Lady?

19 Ways of Crossing the Street After the Old Guy In the Sedan Jerks to a Last-Minute Stop in the Vons Parking Lot Crosswalk and Motions for You to Pick Up the Pace, Can’t You See He Didn’t Want to Stop For You in the First Place, Lady?

Imagining a possible legitimate reason for his impatience

Pigeon wearing meth-filled backpack busted at B.C. prison

Pigeon wearing meth-filled backpack busted at B.C. prison

source: https://globalnews.ca/news/9393581/pigeon-backpack-meth-bc-prison-grounds/

Please Don’t Tell Mom!

Please Don’t Tell Mom!

Oh, man. Your brother’s gonna die.

Crybaby Ferris Sucks

Crybaby Ferris Sucks

Baby kept costing us matches, throwing punches at opponents that missed and caught me right in the mush, tripping and accidentally hitting me with his big splash, that kind of stuff.

My Rug

My Rug

If my rug were a house it would have good bones, right?

Theatrics

Theatrics

I rip my mask off. Distressed, you might call my expression, if you weren’t so fucking focused on checking your goddamn phone, I am having a moment here. A figure joins me on stage. It’s just me with a megaphone, I didn’t really have time to hire someone new.

He’s Afraid of all the Happiness

He’s Afraid of all the Happiness

He shrieks that I’m hiding fun from him because I know where he is and I won’t pretend otherwise, and groans to himself he needs to do a better job hiding—he’s so bad at it.