the reason my insides are so swollen

CW: talk of muscles and bones, dysphoria

the reason my insides are so swollen
Photo by camilo jimenez / Unsplash

by V. Brancazio

CW: talk of muscles and bones, dysphoria

I’ve become aware of my bones
So I’m afraid nothing will get done today.
I can feel the muscle against skin
Too aware of my body’s seams.

Nothing will get done today. I’m afraid
I’ve lost sense of my gender
Of my body. I’m too aware. It all seems
Haunted. Illusionary.

Gender has lost all sense.
Every inch is ruined.
This illusion is haunting
Our hearts and homes.

Ruined. Every inch
Of me has changed while remaining the same.
My home and heart
Are unsettled and unadjusted.

I have remained the same, but I’ve changed.
I’m aware of it in my bones.
Reset. Readjusted.
I feel it in my muscle and my skin.

V. Brancazio is a poet and theatre artist currently based in the Greater Boston Area.  Originally from Chapel Hill, NC, V. graduated from Emerson College in 2018 with a BFA in Acting and Theatre Education. Their written work can be found in Constellations Lit Mag, The Thing Itself, and in their self-published zine BREAK: Stories of Feeling Too Much. V.'s theatrical work is primarily focused on new play development and V. has worked with companies such as Sparkhaven Theatre, Fresh Ink Theatre, and Strange News theatre. They are a member of StageSource’s Gender Explosion and seek to create a more gender-diverse and trans-inclusive theatre. You can find V. on both Twitter and Instagram @BrnczV. To view their work, visit: