MY REFLECTION HAS BEEN TRICKY LATELY

by Cavar

I.

          At the center of my sternum is a wine-toned bead.

          It is my sharp tumbling trans*.

                                                                      *zit zapped shedding light.
                                                                      *muddle and lift.
                                                                      *ocean of cut
                                                                      *nails                    *bind by wire
                                                                      calamitystrung.

II.

          I extract my be
          longings be
          for the stammering
          state.

          Centurion walks
          distrustful.

          My freight glitters my slant-
          rhymed fear.

III.
          I carved in
          To my chest and I made
          It an

          I

          am the dangerous one.

                                                                      With fingers I give the belt
                                                                      To my surfacing tenderbones
                                                                      set my cogent to its sternest
                                                                      gauge

          A zit
          zapped w [merciless]
          slight

                                                                                                    [wet                    hard                    implicated]

IV.

          Oh rough story of my sight
          hitched the blood to my trans for
          bidden and rightless
          rough in the hunched seize of my
          longing.

          At any rate, escape is relative.
          I mean only to explain
          the entropy of the legible:

V.

          Sometimes, names are tombs
          For other names.

Notes: 

The title of this poem, as well as the line “at any rate, escape is relative” are repurposed from X.

The line “[wet hard   implicated]” is borrowed from Morgan M. Page’s blurb of X.

[sarah] Cavar is an anti-genre writer, PhD candidate, and instructor of undergraduates on both u.s. coasts. Their debut novel, Failure to Comply, is forthcoming with featherproof books (2024). Cavar is editor-in-chief of manywor(l)ds.place, and has had work published in The Offing, Split Lip Magazine, Nat. Brut, Electric Lit, and elsewhere. More at www.cavar.club, librarycard.substack.com, and @cavarsarah on twitter.